It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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