i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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