I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
