Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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