just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
