i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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