she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize