Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
