you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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