is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
