the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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