If that was your dad, he is hot
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
