Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
