In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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