Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
