Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
