aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
