oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
