i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
