this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize