Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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