awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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