I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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