You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i already hear my dad disowning me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
