I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
