yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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