The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
