Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
