Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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