her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
