he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
