Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
