I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize