I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
