Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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