i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
