remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
