I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize