It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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