She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
