the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
