My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
