North Korea, Best Korea!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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