you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
