i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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