you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
