She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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