you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
BRING THE BAGELS
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
