Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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