And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My vagina is officially offended.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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