do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
