Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
