i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
