So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize