If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
