wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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