i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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