what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
