Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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