What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
