I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize